Asylum
by Rinnu500
Summary: Armin often felt as if the Recon Corps were an asylum. A place for the mad and crazed, not a place for warriors fighting the end of the world. Sometimes, however, he'd spend his days thinking of one comrade in particular. It was then he realized that perhaps the one who belonged in an asylum… …was Armin himself. JeanXArmin
1. Isolated

**Ritsu: So, my sister adores JeanxArmin. I can't say I do, but it's not like I got any better pairings for either of them, so let's roll with it! This will switch between more fluffy moments and angsty moments, cause SNK is angsty. **

**This will be written in different POV's. **

**I'll be using Recon Corps, rather than Scouting legion, Survey Corps or whatever other translations there are. **

**The - are supposed to be 'unreadable' words, so to say.**

**Armin: Ritsu doesn't own Attack On Titan/Shingeki No Kyojin.**

**Ritsu: Don't let the prologue fool you, everything is not like it seems.**

* * *

_September 9__th_

_My name is Armin Arlert. I'm part of the Levi squad, Recon corps. I… I'm going to die soon. We… we were investigating a supposedly abandoned village, but… the village was at the center of a thick forest. I was separated from the rest of my group a while ago. I've been hiding inside a tree trunk ever since, but I can hear them, the Titans. I feel it, too… The ground trembles whenever they move. _

_I think only one of them is nearby… but I saw at least twenty of them before my group got separated. Captain Levi and the others have probably already killed most of the Titans. I would try to kill the one nearby, but I can't see it… and it's a fifteen meter class… _

_I'm scared. I-I've never written in a journal or anything before b-but I don't want people to forget me! Mikasa says I'm very forgettable, because I'm not very outgoing… I don't want to be eaten! I don't want to die! I still haven't told… I still haven't told that person… how I feel…_

_Armin, focus! I don't… I don't have time for this! I need to figure something out!_

_Something… anything..! I'm supposed to be smart! It's my one asset! Think, Armin! THINK!_

_What would the others do? They'd… kill the Titan. They would kill the Titan without hesitation… But they're strong. I'm… I'm not like them. What am I supposed to do..?_

_Do I… try to run?_

A voice suddenly speaking from the outside of the tree's trunk made Armin jump slightly, his eyes widening.

"**I know where you are. Come on out,**"

He glanced back down at his journal before picking his pen back up.

_It's speaking so clearly to me. The Titan. Like it's completely human. If I didn't know it was a Titan, I would've easily believed it to be a human. What do I do? It said it knows I'm here. If I don't go out, will it destroy the tree I'm hiding in and kill me? Why does it even want me to come out, when it can just kill me?_

"**You are… a friend of Eren, yes?**"

Armin let out a gasp before covering his mouth quickly, not wanting to give himself away if the Titan was lying.

_It knows about Eren! It said "You are a friend of Eren, yes?"! How… how would a Titan know that?! Is it another human who can turn into a Titan? Is it someone I've met? I'm so confused. What do I do?_

_What do I do, what do I do, what do I do, what do I… do?_

Armin's writing became nigh impossible to read as his hands trembled with increasing strength.

_I can - it… it's getting clos-. It's ri- next - the tree. I think it - hold of - trunk. It's sh-. _

_I'm sca-._

_Er-, M-asa…_

_I'm sorry._

Armin dropped the pen, quickly stuffing the small journal he had been writing in as far down the crevice he hid in, within the tree trunk, attempting to hide it. The Titan was slightly shaking the tree, as if threatening Armin what would happen if he didn't heed his words.

Armin's cheeks grew puffy as his eyes watered. _How could one mission go so wrong?_ he wondered. _Why didn't I stay with the group? _ he asked himself.

_Jean… you were right. I really am useless…_ he thought to himself before he slowly climbed out of the small hole in the tree he'd climbed through earlier.

The Titan's lips, or rather the area where they would be, had he had any, tugged into a smirk.

"**Good. Tell me, where is Eren?**"

Armin felt his knees grow weak, struggling to remain standing. To him, a Titan without the ability to speak was terrifying enough. The idea of a Titan _knowing_ just what it was doing made him feel sick. He opened his mouth as if to speak, but no words came out.

The Titan tilted his head to the side, his red hair covering one of his eyes.

"**Answer me,**" the Titan spoke, a low growl emitting from the back of his throat.

Armin remained silent, sinking to the ground.

"**You're not planning on answering my question? Even though I asked nicely?**"

Armin shuddered, tears now freely falling from his eyes, trailing down his cheeks. Even if he wanted to answer the Titan, his voice failed him and no sound came out of his throat. He knew the Titan wanted an answer and fast too. He briefly wondered why no one from the squad had showed up. The forest wasn't terribly large and with a Titan talking, quite loudly at that, he felt a bit suspicious no one had gotten close. _Did the Titan do something..? Were there more of them than I thought?_

No one was there to answer his questions, had he asked them.

He was roughly picked up by the Titan, snapped out of his thoughts by the slight pain from the pressure the Titan put on his torso.

"**I should just kill you,**"

Armin agreed, though he did not voice his opinion. _End it._

What happened instead surprised Armin. The Titan smirked once more, giving Armin a tight squeeze, not to kill him but to knock him out. But that wasn't what surprised him.

What had surprised him were the eyes.

Two bright mocha eyes stared back at Armin, an almost gentle expression in them.

Then all went dark.


	2. Alone Apart

**Ritsu: Oh, the title of the story is actually inspired by the game Vampire The Masquerade: Bloodlines. There's a club in the game called The Asylum where the song Isolated by Chiasm plays, which is the song I use for chapter names c: Oh, and the romance WILL show up in future chapters. Trust me, mmkay?**

**Petra: Ritsu doesn't own AOT/SNK. If she did, heichou would be topless all the time… R-RITSU! What is this?!**

**Ritsu: … Uhhhm… TITAN!**

**Petra: WHERE?!**

* * *

The first thing Armin noticed was how stiff he felt. Something was constricting his arms and legs. The next thing he noticed was the pounding headache. He had no memory of hitting his head, however. _There was… a Titan…_ he recollected what had happened before he passed out in his thoughts.

"I'm… not dead…" he mumbled, before gasping, realizing he'd spoken out loud. His whole body shook as the same Titan voice as before let out a rumbling laugh.

"**Awake, are you? About time. Thought I accidentally killed you back there,**" the Titan spoke, his voice laced with amusement. Armin opened his eyes and confirmed his beliefs. The Titan had an almost mocking look on his face, non-existent lips drawn into a smirk. Armin swallowed nervously. The Titan still hadn't killed him, but his casual actions worried Armin and confused him even more so.

The Titan grew silent and continued walking, the smirk on his face remaining. Armin silently noted the Titan seemed to smirk a lot wider than one normally would, but then scolded himself for letting his guard down to think such thoughts.

"**What's your name, lass?**"

The sudden question was enough reason for Armin to grow wide eyed, but it wasn't the question per se that had him sputter nonsense. _L-lass?! Th-the Titan thinks I'm a girl?!_

The Titan stared at Armin silently, awaiting an answer. Armin gulped, unsure of what to say. _I-I can't afford to let my guard down! The Titan could kill me at any time!_

"**I'm not going to kill you. Well, as long as you cooperate, I suppose,**"

Armin doubted the Titan could read minds but he shivered regardless, staring at the Titan's face awkwardly. He contemplated what to answer while silently studying the Titan's facial features. His red hair was messy and slightly spiked and it would occasionally cover his right eye, making the Titan raise his right hand to move the hair out of the way. Armin didn't understand why the Titan acted so… _normal_.

He bit his lip nervously. The Titan's mocha brown eyes stared back at him, now seemingly a lot more patient now that they were, most likely, far from the rest of the Levi squad. What surprised Armin the most was the fact that apart from the Titan's lack of lips, his face looked quite human.

After a minute of silence Armin let out a small sigh. He would still tremble every few seconds, but he deemed that the better choice in the situation would be to simply cooperate.

"Armin… My name is… Armin," he answered.

The Titan raised an eyebrow, briefly making Armin wonder if it would fall off the Titan's face with the height it was reaching.

"**That's an odd name for a lass. Your parents wanted a boy or something?**"

Armin had to stop himself from asking the Titan if he was stupid, but after contemplating decided to go along with it. _M-maybe the Titan will be nicer if… if I pretend to be a girl…? If… If I can just get loose, I might be able to escape… We still haven't left the forest after all..!_

Armin clutched onto what little hope he had left. He'd play along with the Titan's strange casual behavior for the moment, if only to stay alive. He lowered his gaze, staring down at the ground. Had Eren and the others stopped looking for him? Had they even looked in the first place? Did they realize he'd been attacked?

_Jean and Levi probably don't care… Dammit… if I hadn't run off after Jean said those things… then I wouldn't be in the clutches of this weird Titan! Eren… Mikasa… if only I was strong like you…_

"**Don't wanna talk about your parents huh? Well, I guess that's fine. I don't get along well with my parents either, you know? I ate my dad, a couple of years back,**" the Titan continued, letting out a chuckle. Armin didn't find it funny at all. In fact, it made him nauseous. He swallowed several times to stop the bile threatening to rise up his throat.

"I… I got along just fine with my parents… th-there's nothing wrong with my name…" he spoke awkwardly, refusing to look up. The Titan nodded in understanding, saying nothing.

The two remained silent for a long time and it wasn't until the Titan suddenly stopped that Armin looked up. He wished he hadn't. The Titan had stopped because a mere 100 meters or so in front of them stood three other Titans. Armin gasped, his eyes widening. The Titan holding him let out a sigh before he leaned his head closer to Armin.

"**Don't worry,**" he told Armin, but the blonde didn't calm down one bit. _How can he tell me not to worry?! I'm already at his mercy and now there's even more Titans?!_

The Titan walked closer to the three Titans, giving each of them a nod. Armin gulped, realizing they were allies of some sort. One of the Titans nodded towards Armin, giving the Titan holding him a questioning glance.

"**She knows Eren,**" was all he said in reply to the glance. The other Titans seemed to accept his answer and simply nodded before they started heading off their separate ways.

Armin couldn't stop himself from giving the Titan a confused look. He kept reminding himself that this was a Titan, not a human, no matter how human he acted. Or at the very least, he was an enemy, regardless of whether he was merely a Titan or a human transformed into one. And yet Armin found himself subconsciously letting his guard down.

The Titan noticed the look Armin gave him and scratched the back of his head.

"**I guess you could say we're… allies. Now, let's keep going, shall we?**"

"What's the point of making it a question when I have no choice but to follow?" Armin muttered before attempting to cover his mouth, which proved impossible as his arms were pinned to his sides in the grip of the Titan. Armin felt his body go cold and stiff when he realized he just talked back to a Titan. _He's gonna kill me, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I don't want to die, no no no nononono..._

Instead of killing Armin, however, the Titan let out a loud laugh. In fact, to Armin it sounded as if the Titan was howling with laughter.

"**I like you! Sure, you're pretty pathetic, but you have some spunk!**" the Titan spoke between laughs, his mouth stretching to absurd widths with his laughing.

"Great, at least one of us is having fun…" Armin muttered, not bothering to keep his thoughts to himself.

The Titan let out another howl of laughter before proceeding to walk off towards the edge of the forest.

* * *

"… _I'm sorry._ That's… that's the last thing it says," Eren mumbled, clutching the tattered journal tightly. He was standing in front of the tree Armin had previously hid in along with Jean and Mikasa. Levi and Connie were off searching elsewhere.

"You said awful things to him, didn't you?" he asked in a dangerous tone. Jean, who was standing across from him, narrowed his eyes in anger.

"You're saying I got him killed, is that it, Jaeger?"

"He ran off because you said how he was useless and crap to him!"

"You ARE blaming me!"

"If you hadn't upset him, he'd still be here!"

"If you think I'm fucking happy about him missing then you're wrong, Jaeger!"

"Stop, both of you! If you haven't noticed, there's no sign of struggle here and no blood! Armin is NOT dead, we WILL find him,"

The two quarreling boys grew silent and stared at Mikasa with surprise and shock. It wasn't common for her to raise her voice and it had them both cringing. Jean let out a sigh and scratched the back of his head.

"Let's go back and wait for the captain…"

The walk back to their rendezvous point was silent.

* * *

Armin continued to stare in shock at the man before him. While he had his suspicions of what would happen when they reached the house, he hadn't expected the Titan to leave his Titan form so quickly and without any hesitation.

The now human kidnapper let out a chuckle, his mouth now remaining proportionate to the rest of his face. He stood in front of Armin, who was sitting on what he assumed was the man's bed, a hand stretched out towards him.

"I'm Nate. Pleasure meeting you, though I doubt you agree with that statement, eh, Armin? I'll be your kidnapper for the evening. Let's get along, okay?"

Armin gulped, hesitantly shaking the man's hand, his instincts screaming to get the hell out of there as soon as possible. There was something new in "Nate's" voice that had him frightened. It was like he was daring Armin to try something, just so he could prove that even as a human, Armin wouldn't be able to win a fight against him.

Releasing Armin's hand, Nate sat down next to him on the bed, handing him a bottle of water. He glanced at Armin's uniform with a look of disapproval before lifting his gaze to look at Armin's face. Armin stared at the water bottle, somewhat suspicious, before he cautiously took a sip.

"You're not doing your chest any favors, wearing that uniform," Nate stated, making Armin choke on the water he was drinking. Nate let out a snort of amusement, giving Armin a pat on the back.

"You're easily flushed, how cute,"

Armin felt his cheeks darken. Oh how he wished to simply explain that he wasn't a girl. How it wounded his pride to be even thought of as a girl in the first place. _C-calm down… Let him believe what he wants… it doesn't matter._

"I've got some spare clothes lying around somewhere. I'll find them and put them on the bed later for you to change into, if you want. Do you want to take a shower or anything? Hungry perhaps?"

Armin stared at Nate, his eyes filled with utter confusion.

"Why are you…" he started, Nate raising an eyebrow in anticipation.

"Why are you being so… so _nice_?" Armin managed to mumble, a frown on his face. Nate tilted his head to the side, a small smile on his face.

"Well, there could be two possibilities,"

"A, I want to lull you into a false sense of safety and make you trust me so you'll give me the information I want,"

Armin clenched his fists.

"Or b, because I believe it's important to treat a lady properly, regardless of how you came to care for said lady. Whether it's a lady friend or a lady you kidnapped," he finished his explanation.

The frown hadn't left Armin's face. Nate sighed, standing back up.

"Alright, here's what we'll do. I'll just ask you, will you tell me what I want to know regarding your friend?" he asked with a now serious look on his face. Armin swallowed slowly and shook his head. Nate nodded, more to himself than anything else, his lips tugging into a smile.

"Now that we've got that out of the way, how about some food?"

Armin's eyes widened as his head conjured a disturbing image of Nate serving him human meat, his face now tinted green. Nate had a curious pout on his face, not realizing what Armin had thought.

When he later returned with a bowl of chicken soup, which Armin considered a luxury, Armin shared what his wild imagination had conjured making Nate howl in laughter once more.

"Now, I'm curious about something, Armin…" Nate began, dragging out the syllables of Armin's name.

"Got anyone you fancy?"

Armin tried to keep the blush off of his cheeks, he really did.

"W-well…"


	3. I'll Never Crawl Again

**Ritsu: Now it's time for fluffy memories and lovey-dovey - although somewhat one-sided, at this point, at least- moments of joy! (Sort of..) **

**When it's written in 'I' form without italics it's from Armin's view during a past event. Basically it's him retelling a past event. **

**(Anything written in these here fancy things is Nate interrupting Armin's stories.)**

**Jean: … Not sure how I feel about this.**

**Ritsu: Just smile and wave, little French man. Smile and wave.**

**Jean: … Sigh, Ritsu doesn't own AOT/SNK.**

* * *

"I… there is… there is someone…" Armin started before hesitating to continue. Nate nodded in interest, shuffling closer to Armin. Subconsciously, Armin tried to grab at the sheath of his weapons, but he quickly remembered Nate had already hidden his equipment somewhere.

"… But he… he doesn't really like me… not even as a friend, I think…" Armin continued after a little while. While he wanted to make sure not to give away anything that could benefit Nate, he never felt like he could reveal his infatuation to neither Mikasa nor Eren. His urge to talk to someone about it overrode his sense of caution.

"Have you asked him if he considers you a friend?"

Armin shook his head.

"Then how can you be so sure?" Nate asked, his expression curious but his voice serious. Armin raised his gaze to meet Nate's eyes, his eyes watery.

"Because he wanted me to die in place of his best friend."

* * *

"_Hey umm… Jean?"_

"_What?"_

"_Sorry for messing up back there… When we were fighting…"_

"… _I don't get it,"_

"_E-eh?"_

"_Why the hell did Marco die, but a useless idiot like you survived? Why couldn't it have been the opposite?"_

* * *

"I… I ran off after that… I… I know he was upset… but it… it really hurt… and I… I don't understand why he'd suddenly start talking about something like that…" Armin finished his explanation, clenching his fists and staring at his own feet. Nate was quiet next to him, but offered a comforting pat on the head.

"That sucks… He sounds like an asshole,"

"W-well… there's been times when he's been really nice to me. A-and he even praised me once, when I came up with a really good plan when we were fighting Titans,"

Nate raised an eyebrow. "A plan? A strategist, then? You're cute _and_ smart. Aren't I the luckiest kidnapper there is~"

Armin frowned, giving Nate an annoyed look, making the redhead raise his hands in defense.

"Merely stating my opinion. So, tell me about one of these happier moments then. If anything, it'll pass the time!"

Regardless of his worries, Armin proceeded to tell Nate about one of his most precious memories, leaving out certain details here and there, sticking mostly to the truth.

* * *

We were cleaning up our squad's building, mainly because our captain is really picky about details. The building wasn't really dirty. I mean, the floors were almost glowing, the windows didn't have a single stain or handprint on them and I don't think I've ever seen such clean bathrooms before. But the captain can be… kinda scary when he gets mad even though he's pretty short, so we followed orders without voicing our thoughts on the matter.

Jean and I-

Uh-uhhm Jean is the… he's… a guy. I uhmm… A-anyway!

Jean and I were in charge of the bedrooms ("Not bad,")… Nothing happened! Ahem, we were almost done and were absolutely exhausted- ("Almost done with what~?") … We were almost done cleaning all the rooms ("Awww…") so we decided to take a short break. Well, Jean did, mostly… but I just went along with it, I guess?

We sat down on a bench outside of the last room we had left and we just… sat there, talking about everything and nothing. It was really nice… our captain caught us slacking off though and gave us a really bad scolding, but it was fun while it lasted.

* * *

"Your captain sounds... interesting, to put it mildly," Nate stated after Armin finished his story, a soft smile on his face. "I used to be a bit like you, you know. I'd dress up in a wig and a skirt and I'd hang around the guy I liked for hours at an end. I think he just found me annoying, to be honest, but he always did tell me the words I needed to hear when I needed to hear them…" Nate spoke, letting out a soft chuckle. Armin's eyes widened and he stared at Nate in wonder.

_He… dressed up as a girl? Wait… he thinks I… dress up like a girl? So… he thinks I'm a… transsexual? I-is that it?_

"O-oh… Did he uhhmm… find out?" Armin asked cautiously, still trying to wrap his head around the new information he'd gained.

"He didn't. When I found out I could… y'know, go Titan, I left. I haven't seen him since,"

"Oh… what's his name?"

Nate flashed Armin a mysterious smile.

"It's a secret,"

Armin didn't question him further and soon went to take the shower he'd been offered earlier. He still felt wary about trusting Nate, but he would at the very least make use of the situation the best he could. He'd figure something out. He'd escape and rejoin his friends in the war. _I swear it… I promised…_

* * *

The moment the remaining members of the Levi Squad had noticed the Titans acting oddly, they went into pursuit. They all agreed chances were the two Titans they'd seen acting as if they were 'talking' to eachother were most likely humans transformed. They'd made a brief stop for supplies left at a nearby cave by an earlier scouting team, taking a moment's rest.

"They might be allied with the Titan that Armin wrote about!" Eren exclaimed, a hopeful tone in his voice.

"They most likely are. If we follow them, they might lead us to him, if he is still alive," was Levi's deadpan reply, an unsaid but hanging in the air.

"… _But_ it might also be a trap," Jean spoke, continuing where Levi left off. He gained a nod, but Levi continued to stare at him, making Jean more and more uncomfortable.

"Is… is there something you want to ask me, captain?" Jean asked after a moment, growing tired of his captain's stare.

"Armin is not the strongest and certainly not the bravest… but for him to submit so easily, assuming he did and assuming he's alive, it wouldn't happen without reason. Did you say anything to him that might give him reason to willingly go with the enemy?" Levi spoke, a calculating look in his eyes.

Connie noted to himself that it was a rare occurrence to hear the captain talk so much, more so it surprised him that Levi wasn't looking down on Armin as much as he had assumed he would. Jean however, stared back at Levi in shock. He managed to mutter out a simple 'no, captain' and the group was off, once more in pursuit of the two Titans before them.

_I just basically told him it would've been better if he'd died instead of Marco… I'm such a fucking __**idiot**__._


End file.
